Wednesday, May 6, 2015

7 Things I'd Tell My College-Aged Self

Happy Wednesday friends!

My Wednesday posts are few and far between lately, and if you follow those I do apologize. I blame the children. Who make me tired. I digress.

It's been funny lately, I feel like I've either ran into young women who remind me of what it was like to be an insecure 19-year old or I am just hyper-aware of them.

While at lunch this week I overheard a couple (hungover) college girls chatting about the night before; let's just say they were dehydrated from a crazy MONDAY night out. It was all boys, booze, boys, boys, booze. Listen, I get it, heck I lived it, but we all know that is a crazy road that leads to nowhere.
As I was sitting there, waiting for my friend to join me, feeding Baby B a bottle while picking out the chunks of banana in my hair, I found myself kind-of judging them; I mean, y'all, who goes out late on a school night? But mostly I felt sorry for them. 

It reminded me how little you know about yourself at this age. 

Young girls tend to look for affirmation in all sorts of wrong places, and adventures are gauged by the number of friends (and boyfriends) they have, or nowadays how many Facebook likes a picture gets. I mean how lucky was I to experience NO social media throughout any point of schooling? It's a self-esteem game changer. 

It got me thinking about what I wish my 18-22-year old self would have known.

1. Get to know you and learn to love yourself. You're young and this may seem tricky. But a good place to start is with your feelings, because in a brand new place all by yourself you will have a lot. Listen to what you are feeling, and work your butt off to understand WHY you are feeling that way. This can help you understand your insecurities so that other people can't use them against you. Be gentle with yourself, but always hold YOU to the highest standard. Don't let other outside influences determine your self-worth.

2. Find what you love. Spend time searching for what makes you tick. What brings you joy. If there's a certain class your drawn too, sign up for another similar one. And once you find that part of schooling that brings you joy, work your butt off to pursue that professionally.

3. Build your village and put them first, not boys and booze.  You will learn as much from your college girlfriends as you will from your classes. Building new friendships and being a good friend to others is a critical part of happiness. 

4. Assume the best in people. You hold yourself to high standard and others around you as well. But cut people some slack and work to have your first reaction be to assume people have good intentions. The other way creates bitterness and sometimes paranoia. Remember that your personal perspective is not always the right one. Give others the benefit of the doubt.

5. Don't take anything personal. ANYTHING. We women tend to do this anyways, but add on college insecurities and breakups and failing grades, and you get it, times can be tough. Just don't take it personal and refer to point number 1.

6. If you haven't got the message yet, work on you. You won't find the dream job, the dream man, or live out your dreams until you know, YOU. Knowing who we are and focusing on building up our character is the only way we can move forward and find success. Take part in activities that interest YOU, pursue YOUR interests, nourish YOUR friendships. Try to be the right person, and you will find the rest of the things you want in life will naturally fall into place.

7. Don't go out on a school night. Lauren, don't go out late on a Monday. Trust me.

4 comments :

  1. Amen to working on you and worrying about the boys later! Great post!

    Her Heartland Soul
    http://herheartlandsoul.com

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    1. I mean, right?! Put your oxygen mask on first, right Erin?

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  2. Loved this! Having just moved back to our college town, I've over-heard a lot of these similar conversations in public :) It really is a weird time, 18 seems SO young now to be living on your own and having to decide what you want to do for the rest of your life. It's easier to put all your attention on drinking and boys but you are so right - concentrating on you as a person and your friendships is the most important!

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    1. 18 does seem so young, because it IS so young! I can't even recognize me at 18, and I'm glad:)!

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