Wisdom Wednesday: The Negotiator.

Often time at my house I feel like everything is a CONSTANT negotiation. (I can hear my mother saying "I told you so" or "wait 'til their teenagers" as I type). Except this is a different type of negotiation because there's no real discussion quite yet.

It's me giving Cooper his options, Cooper deciding his behavior, and me then deciding what to do about it.   Depending on the amount of sleep (and/or patience I have at my disposal at that moment) I can easily find myself getting frustrated.

How many times can I tell him not to open that drawer? When will he learn not to sneak out the doggy door? Why does he throw a fit every time I tell him 'no?'

"Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them.” -Bill Ayers

I feel like all too often I say "Look what you did" or "Mommy asked you not to do that." As soon as I say it, I realize that all that happening in that moment is he feels bad about himself and knows I am disappointed. He didn't learn anything. I wasted a teachable moment.

I read this blog yesterday from Hands Free Mama. You may have seen it shared on Facebook or Pinterest, but there was one sentence that caught my attention:

"She (daughter) could not make a mess without me shaking my head in disappointment. She could not spill, stain, break or misplace without being made to feel like she'd made the worst mistake in the world." -Rachel Stafford

Oh my gosh is that me? Am I just going to get worse as he gets older?

“Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse? Think of the last time you felt humiliated or treated unfairly. Did you feel like cooperating or doing better?" -Jane Nelsen

Negotiation is different with a toddler. It's a lot about distraction and re-direction of attention, but I never want to make him feel bad about himself. However I do have to discipline and teach limits.

So my take-away from that article and little self introspection?
As he gets older, I'll have to differentiate mistakes from acting out- and have grace.

But for now: Love first. Make a big deal when he listens and obeys. And when he does have to spend a little time in time out, remind him that I love him, but not what he did.

Meeting Santa Claus, Take Two

December 9th? When did that happen?

It has been FREEZING- and I mean bitter, don't want to go outside, slipping in my cute booties COLD. Winter sure did arrive in fashion! Speaking of fashion, our must haves during this cold snap (nothing too glamorous).

For Coop:

Striped Knit Aviator hat // Patagonia // Gap Boots (no longer online)

And for mama: 

EOS Chapstick // Sorels // UGG // Zella Live-In Leggings

The first year with a baby goes by fast, but slow. Slow because you document EVERYTHING, so you really take it all in. The camera is out at all times because they are constantly hitting new "firsts": first smile, first time sitting, rolling, standing, walking, etc. etc.

But year two? Flies by. 

 All the milestones are reached by that second year of life and you spend way less time with camera out at all times "capturing the moments." Then all the sudden...they're about to be two!

<Insert shocked face here...>

 But then there are moments that you make a fuss over, break out the camera and be sure to document. When you try to slow down time for a hot second.

Like decorating the tree:

And meeting Santa! 
(Which, I may add, went LOADS better than last year).

Flashback...

 What a difference a year makes!

We went to the The Brown Palace in Denver with some other mommies and littles; and had brunch with Santa and Mrs. Claus! It was a chaotic, yummy, and a blast. I love, love things like this, and can tell it will be a fun new tradition.

 Cooper FROZE on Santa's lap, clasped his hands together tightly, stared at the ground, but he did NOT cry. It's a win.

And on that festive note, time to get shopping!

Two weeks left to Christmas and I am not even CLOSE to being done with my gift-getting. But I do remind myself that gifts, though a celebration of are not the reason for the season.

Have a good week friends!

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." 

-Isaiah 9:6 

Thanksgiving in pictures.

Howdy y'all and happy December first!

How was your Thanksgiving? Did you eat lots of turkey? Green bean casserole? Pumpkin pie? We ate all of the above...with a whole of Mexican food thrown in there too. I just love my time with friends and family in Texas, always goes by too fast.

Here's our holiday highlights:

• We almost gave away Cooper after the first flight due to emotional abuse towards his parents and everyone else on the plane.

• The hubs decided that Austin, Texas has THE best BBQ (sorry Kansas City). As for where to go in Austin, you'll find Franklin's on every list but he loved Live Oak and there's no crazy 2-hour wait. 

• Cooper learned that there are different type of balls. Ie: glass ornamental balls do not do they same thing as, say, rubber bouncy balls. 

• Cooper established a bit of an attachment to his Nanna and proceeded to repeat her name over and over again for the entire trip. (Not to be confused with b'nana. TOTALLY different).

• We observed that Cooper listens way, WAY, W-AAAAY better to daddy then he has ever listened to his mother. I am so thankful for a husband who is a great dad. This week I was reminded just how important dads are in a child's life. And for mom's sanity.

 Trimming Nanna's tree:

 He melts my heart. Most days:

 Kisses from Aunties!

 My sister Elaine and her boyfriend Ben. Aren't they the cutest?

 Cooper and my cousin, Ara. Ara is so darn good with him.

 Our family matriarch and birthday girl, Grandma Betty.

 Scootin.'

You will be happy to know that Coop slept the whole flight back to Denver. And also, when Jeff pulled the car around at the airpot he had my favorite Christmas tunes blaring.

Let it begin!

THE most magical time of the year!

Five-on-Friday

Greetings, Friday!

I am so excited to share my new blog home {new name, new look}. 
What do you think?
 
It's my pretty online scrapbook space where I will continue to overshare pictures (and stories) of the short one, and pen to paper my "aha!" moments on Wednesday...among other things. Yay! Hope you like as much as I do:).

In a few hours will be heading to the airport en route to the great state of Texas.

I am so looking forward to seeing my friends, family and as ALWAYS, Mexican food. You will be glad to know that I have my husband with me on this flight and am not expecting any more horror stories. However one can never tell...I'll be sure to keep you posted.

Five things I'm loving this week:

{one}

Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams back together?
Probably not, but did your pulse start racing?

This would be the greatest news since...I can't even remember the last time Hollywood got me so excited. Ah, yes I can- Bella and Edward.

{two}
Sperry Top-Sider for J. Crew

I saw these in the J. Crew catalog this week and swooned. I literally JUST bought Sorel boots last season but what I would do to switch-aroo for this pair. Sperry's are always so comfortable, which is what Sorel's are lacking. And with all the snow we got yesterday a good pair of boots are a necessity!

{three}

Kale Brussel Sprout Salad (via Sugar and Grace)

I am a vegetarian so I did not add the bacon, and I subbed pecorino cheese for parmesan. Seriously healthy and de-lish. I should add my husband and brother loved it. Score.

{four}

Red Stag Doormat 

My husband thought I was a little nutty when I brought this home from World Market; but I find this charmingly trendy. I mean who doesn't buy a RED STAG when offered the opportunity? Jokes on him, suckah!

{this blog}

Yay for new pretty blogs!
I'm so excited to get back in the blogging groove. I will share some posts on my facebook but feel free to follow along via Bloglovin (see right top sidebar).

Wishing you and yours a very special Thanksgiving!