Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Wisdom Wednesday: Uncoupling.

Did y'all hear about Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin
In case you're not up on celeb gossip these days, they are uncoupling. 
Seriously? What does that even MEAN?

I love being married and I feel like all of our married friends have healthy, committed marriages, but some days it seems like marriage is a dying institution.

The other day I read that 40% of all births are out of wedlock. So clearly, it's not a priority when bringing a new baby into the world. Divorce rate now is 50% (increasing with the number of marriages).

Gwyneth released this statement shortly after the news broke:

"Divorce is a traumatic and difficult decision for all parties involved—and there's arguably no salve besides time to take that pain away. However, when the whole concept of marriage and divorce is reexamined, there's actually something far more powerful—and positive—at play. ... Our biology and psychology aren't set up to be with one person for four, five, or six decades. The idea of being married to one person for life is too much pressure for anyone." 

Does that statement annoy anyone else?

Now listen, I think there are at times very valid reasons two people decide to get divorced. But it's this flippant attitude that she uses when talking about "marriage" that really bothers me. 

First of all...speak for yourself. 
She's very definitive about what she is saying, when in reality, this is her opinion, and there are many studies to contradict her "facts."

Second of all...
Ya probably shouldn't have gotten married in the first place if you hold the belief that it is, per her words, too much pressure and psychologically impossible.
Celebrities have such a platform to express their views, politically and relationally, and it feels too loud to me sometimes.  As for me and my husband, we each entered marriage believing we are stuck with the other FOR-EVER.
Like, ever.

Jeff and I have totally different interests and hobbies but at the end of the day we agree on the big things (ie: commitment to marriage, faith in God, how we want to raise our children, and respect for each other as friends).

And let me not deceive you here, we bicker, disagree and fight (not even a little, a lot), but I never worry that he's going to be out the door after an argument, or find someone else more interesting than me. When you marry the right person, for the right reasons, with the right intentions and work daily at being good to each other and yourself - marriage is not only sustainable for 5 decades...'s the best thing that'll ever happen to you.


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